I am from Seattle, Seattle, Washington. I've been in New York for about five years now. Almost five years. Jeez. I went to school actually initially for business. And, I graduated with my associate in business and I took a couple of years off school before I moved here. I was a stylist randomly. I started, I started a fashion blog on social media for fun, actually in relation to upcycling and vintage clothing, cause that was my first passion. I still do that sometimes, but that's what got me into it. And, people started inviting me on set to style shoots, to model them. And eventually, I picked up a camera and decided to move here, like, for work opportunities. But I transferred back into a business school and finished my business degree, my bachelor's, all while pursuing photography, um, and creative production on the side. My career has been all over the place, but right now I am kind of in a limbo, a hiatus.

I usually like to make jokes about how it's somewhere between being a high-end hooker and like a CEO where it's crossing that fine line where it's just provocative enough but still maintaining a little bit of assertiveness. I look into really old-school silhouettes, like old Hollywood. I have a little bit of flapper stuff that I do with my hair usually. I'm trying to cross the boundaries of being like a sex symbol, but also an assertive independent woman in her power. It's kind of like a nice juxtaposition.

When I started going through puberty really early in life, like first in my class, I just wanted to wear what all the other girls were wearing. And, I started to get picked out for it because it was inappropriate and I started getting dress-coded. Stuff like that for not wearing a bra when I was maybe 10 or 11, which is ridiculous because I was a kid. Maybe wearing skirts that might look inappropriate on my body type that didn't look as inappropriate on people that weren't starting to develop, to develop into more of a voluptuous body.
I, just remember, like, from a really early age, um, being put into a box, being, over-sexualized as a child, and then being bullied and slut shamed by my peers. That carried on, from when I was 10 to all throughout high school. High school was the worst of it, high school was so painful.

I eventually, at some point, took it on myself as something that people weren't going to change. I remember I did a little social experiment where I thought maybe if I covered up my body, then people would stop treating me this way. People will actually treat me like a human being. I started wearing sweatshirts every day for three months and nothing changed. So I was like, "You know what? Fuck it." Like, if this, if this is what people think of me, then I'm going to be myself anyway.

The real turning point for me was when I saw this movie in high school. Do you probably know about it? It's called Easy A. It was one of Emma Stone's first breakout films and basically, it's about this girl also in high school who goes through this rumor where everyone starts slut shaming her even though she's a virgin and saying that she lost her virginity, she's such a whore, um, which happened to me in high school. I would go on dates with guys that I thought, really liked me. And, they would try to be too forward and I didn't like it. So I never saw them again. And they would go and tell everyone like, "Oh, I slept with," you know, that was like a whole thing for me. And because people saw me for my body, which was, I would say more emphasized at that point, because everyone else was still kind of growing up. It became a big part of my identity and people would sometimes like to pull over and catcall me on the street. I couldn't walk through the lunchroom without being called a slut or a whore. I have always been a hopeless romantic. I was never involved with anyone in that way. I resonated a lot with that movie because I went through a very, very similar period in my life for years. She decided that if people were going to treat her like that, then she might as well provoke them. Like, "If it bothers you, that you think I'm a slut, then I'm going to throw it in your face because why is that a problem?"

So she started collecting corsets and lingerie and started sexualizing her closet to throw it back in people's faces. And that's something that I started to do. I started to take what people made me feel ashamed of and throw it in their faces as well. That's a big part of why my wardrobe became and has been so provocative because I like the idea of putting what makes people feel uncomfortable back in their face, you know? And I truly believe that my own personal philosophy is I can't change your mind, but I can make you question it. I like, I like to carry it on as a walking protest. And it also makes me feel really powerful because I'm not allowing myself to be ashamed of that. What I felt good in changed over the years, but it started with me collecting vintage corsets. That was one of the first things I did. And every time I went to a new vintage shop or a new city, I would pick up a new corset. It was my thing.

I think that about like two, two years ago, around the same time I shaved my head was when I went hyper in that direction, that's when it became super, super emphasized because I was working on, my first big personal project. In my creative process, when I'm working on something, I take on that character or I take on the concept that's within that project and it becomes projected into my own personal style. And I was working on this project that was all about, embracing things that made you feel vulnerable, but in a way that was hyper-feminized and hyper-sexualized. So I took elements that I saw in anything that you would consider a sex icon that still remains feminine and powerful. I looked to old Hollywood, like the fifties, and forties, when women first started getting leading roles. They presented themselves as very dominant, very assertive, but also just super feminine and elegant, majestic. It almost felt like they had so much independence on the screen, but obviously, their, their personal life were completely different. Look at Marilyn Monroe, but, it itself was so inspirational. Then also the prohibition era, like the twenties and the thirties. That was also a huge time for women. It shows in their style. During the Prohibition era, that was the first time women were allowed to drink with men. First time ever. It was the first time for women to be able to vote. And so you know, it shows in their personal style and the super short hair. Everything's very extravagant. I pull pieces and elements from that as well. I also pull from Hinnip culture in some ways, just because it's hyper-feminized and hyper-sexualized.

It's also interesting because you heard about the Subway shirt trend. So you look it up on TikTok, look up Subway shirt and it's a bunch of young women who wear mostly big button-ups like men's button-up shirts, or just like a baggy shirt over their outfit. Because they don't feel safe on the subway. That's a huge trend. There's also a trend of like, you know when you see other women out in public or out on the train dressed in the same way that you are, then you feel safer to be able to do so. And then you can take off your subway shirt. I think that works both ways, but it's definitely hard to feel safe out here.

I've been wanting to explore the more, like, soft feminine side of myself and, I feel like I haven't been able to because I don't feel safe to do that, ironically. It's like, I feel safer being more provocative because I'm not as approachable. If someone sees you doing that, knowing that, you're aware of your surroundings and you still choose to dress like that, they're going to be like, "She might fuck me up." If I go out in a dress, my hair down and I look like really, really soft feminine, people perceive feminism or being femme identifying as being weak and naive, subconsciously. I feel like I almost have to have the more powerful side of feminity or the more provocative side of that to feel myself or to feel safe. And that hasn't been able to evolve outside of what it's been because, because of this environment.