I'm from New York City, born and raised. I make jewelry, I've never went to fashion school a day in my life. I just dress how I feel for that day.
Oop, my phone's on 10%. Oops, anyways. Yeah, I just feel like I love dressing, like, how I want to dress for that day, and I love accessories. I like accessories and cool prints and fabrics. Especially since I'm like really, really tiny. I feel like it gives myself more room to be able to experiment. I bought this turtleneck where in the turtleneck part it's so big that I could really turn it into a dress and looks like a beautiful tube dress and like I'd use the sleeves and tie it as a bow. I've never really seen somebody dress like me. Specifically, like me. Maybe, similarity in style, of course. I am inspired by the Y2K a lot. You know, I do love it. I also love streetwear. I also love the bagginess. I also love fur and different patterns and prints. I like a lot of multiple things, so I love to ingrain it all together and make it work. So you kind of wear clothing to please yourself, please your eyes. And then it's, it's free therapy. I believe you should, you should always pamper yourself up and feel your best and go outside and looking like your best self all the time.
It's in New York. Someone's doing something. Everyone's doing something. Everyone's always working at something. Some talent they have, it's like you could try and give them a chance. You might not be disappointed, but you know, I obviously don't trust everybody, but some people like they really don't hook you up. Even though you just meet a lot of good people. If you be friendly, and you start building connections, they'll give you that same love back, 100%, you know? I could walk into a random, pizza shop and, become friends with the guy. He could end up giving me, like, literally I walked into Chipotle and he, he, he recognized me from Instagram. And then now we're best friends, but he started giving me free bowls every day. Just cause he liked me as a person, you know? Just cause he fucked me. It came out anyway.
I started doing makeup when I was 15. Well, 14 to be exact. It'd be actually, like, try it for the first time, 14. Um, and I did not do a good job. It was because I had to go to eighth grade prom. And I couldn't afford to get my hair or makeup done. So I had to go like buy my own makeup and just learn to do it myself. But I was like, “damn, I look good.” I don't know because I feel like I've always been, I will not anymore, but I used to be a very insecure person. I used to always think I was really, really ugly. So yeah, I went to MAC for the first time with my grandma. And, cause she already, my grandma would already do makeup, I feel like I really got into it. She would just kinda like do lipstick, mascara, concealer, whatever, cause she was old, it's just like she doing the L'Oreal thing, I guess. Well, I'm not hating, but, you know, old woman things. The person, the girl that shade matched me at MAC got the wrong, gave me the wrong color, but I didn't realize if I wasn't good at makeup. Look back at it now and I'm like, “dang, she gave me the wrong color.” And then, I don't know, after I borrowed that makeup, I went to prom, did my makeup, I liked it.
I feel like Getting heartbroken a couple of times kind of set me right, to be honest. It was low key the last dude that broke my heart, that's when I woke up. Like that was like, that was just like the slap in the face. I was like, “whoa, that man just leave me? What? What'd I do?” And it's just like, like, revamped myself. Not even revamped myself, it's just like, I kind of just, realized my worth. I feel like my teen years is when marriage trauma came in, but even when I was younger, I was super isolated. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I didn't really want to be around anybody. That's probably why I had a good childhood. Cause I just chose to stay inside and socialize and play video games, meet, and make friends, cause I feel like I had a hard time making friends in person. Because people in my school, they just wouldn't stay talking to me. They would always leave me out of everything. So I just went mute in that school. I would just not talk at all anymore. Yeah, I would just go home, watch YouTube, get on Discord and Skype, play with my friends all day, spend the whole summer. There was like mad drama and stuff. Honestly, they were all racist too. And then my dad was really, I don't know, he just doesn't realize that he's like not being a good dad, I guess. He kind of just plays the victim a lot. I don't know, he just acts, he's a Pisces, so he just acts emotionally. Yeah, and my grandma is just like a control freak. She's also just very negative. She just talks, like, like, she's not negative in the heart. It's just like, she just be saying, she talks crap about, like, people's looks, she's always judging someone about their looks and appearance. It's annoying, I don't know why I got stuck in the house where it's like the universe is new, let's, let's see if she could, could test. But still to this day, she'd be like, “Ugh, why you wearing this?” Like, “Why can't you find something that like, fits you?” And, “Oh, you should wear this.” She pulls out something from her closet and tries to get me to wear it. When I grow out my armpit hair, oh my gosh, she tries to shove a razor in my hand and make me shave my armpits. So crazy. She's on vacation right now. So I have a little break, but the second she comes back home, bro, he just doesn't change. She's always, no matter how old I get, she's always in my business trying to know every little thing. But even if I open up to her and tell her what she wants to know, and she got something negative to say, so I don't want to talk to you.
There were points where I dead thought I was going crazy, but then you dead realize you're not. Like, everything is always a sign. Well, not everything. You gotta know when you're going to lose, but, nothing's a coincidence, and you have to really pay attention. And once you, it's like a game, you hear the word, you hear the voice in your head. Cause, I've always struggled loving myself. I've always been my own worst enemy. I always was, back then, you know. I always would psych myself out of everything. It wasn't like people would try to tell me I couldn't do something. It was like, I didn't believe I could do it. I was like, like, you know, and, and that really is true that people could see your worth before you see it. I'd be like, “Why did they say that?” But now, I'm thinking about it, I'm like, “nah, word.” It's like, it's just this seed right here, and there's like no water. So I'ma just stay at sea. So I'ma just stay at sea. You know what I'm saying? I'm so weak. But you know, if you pour water on me, oh my god, hey, oh my god, I'm growing. I'm growing. It's dead, I feel like for the past two years, especially that spiritual journey, I feel like there was not a day that passed by where I did not think in my head, “What am I supposed to figure out today? What am I thinking about? Why am I thinking about this? What do I have to overcome? And how can I grow?” That's always why I would think about all day, every day. And there was a lot of mental breakages. There was a lot of mental blocks.
I used to hate my skin color, bro, I was just so insecure about myself, that's really the thing. I just hated being black when I was younger. I don't know why. I just hated it. And I remember, but I just accepted. I remember I used to just hide away and I would like, try to not care, but like, I feel like now I've really embraced it, now I like it. I'm not, I'm not running away from it, being so beautiful.
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